Treasure Heart
by MaskedNightmare
Summary: An insight into Silver's mind as he reflects on how his decisions have cost him both Jim and the treasure. Knowing that Jim was alive and well would have to be enough. Maybe in saving Jim he saved a part of himself he thought was long dead. Implied Slash!


I've been watning to write this for some time but have just never sat down to do it. But during a New Year's movie marathon I watched Treasure Planet again and just couldn't resist! I know that the relationship between Silver and Jim is supposed to be Father/Son there were just so many moments in the movie that seemed a bit more…intimate than that. So if this disturbs you please don't read I just couldn't ignore this demented bunny any longer. :3 It's more like an insight into Long John Silver's mind than anything explicit.

AFTER

Seeing that look of anger and betrayal on his Jim's face hurt him. It hurt him in parts of him he didn't think could feel anymore. Parts of him that he thought were long dead. Despite the circumstances he still thought that Jim carried a certain special appeal to him when he was angry. It was what had made him notice the boy or rather young man in the first place. When he was held up by Scroop his small body flailing with every ounce of defiance that he held. It was a special moment.

He had worked with the young man every day. He was sharp as a tack that one and nothing was getting by him. He smiled as he remembered the moment that he realized Jim was a bit of a book worm. He was a very smart young man but he hid it not wanting anyone to know…and all because he thought that he _couldn't_ be smart. He had been told so long that he would never amount to anything that he believed it himself now.

Jim had been onto them and he had to keep the boy…young man busy just to slow him down. It was during all that time together that his feelings began to…well feel. It was the yearning he had seen in his eyes. That naked need to be loved and accepted by someone. His father had rejected him and his mother couldn't accept his behavior. He was pretty sure it was that need he had seen in that young face, looking up at him as if he had all the answers in the world. That had been his downfall.

His boy…young man…had grown with him. He had seen the small amount of confidence that was more bluster than anything became a raging well inside the young man. It had almost gone out with that Arrow incident but he hadn't been able to watch it die. He had restored Jim's faith in himself and in the end…it might have cost them everything. That moment of open tenderness had been seen and exploited. Now Jim was sure of himself, that delicate body was facing him with the face of an avenging angel and the determination to back it up. That gun was in his small hand and he knew that he _should_ blast Jim to bits…but at the same time he couldn't.

Now…now he might have to destroy everything there ever was between them for the sake of sparkling jewels and gold coins…but he had gone too far now to stop. Not when he was so close. He knew that Jim could see in his eyes that he wasn't going to quit. Because for a second, in those blue eyes that had looked at him with need and trust…there was now fear. He didn't know if he would be able to stand through this.

BEFORE

He couldn't believe that Scroop had been so _stupid_. Almost blowing the whole mutiny over a scuffle with a _cabin boy_ of all things. Had he lost his blooming mind? After putting them in line he went back on deck to see what the boy had gotten up to now. He was moping dutifully and apparently succeeding in keeping out of trouble. He should be grateful for small miracles.

It was only out of mild curiosity that he had asked Jim why he had picked such an impossible fight. That's when he found out…No one _had_ taught him any better.

That had been the beginning of the end. It had started out just as a duty but then he realized just how _smart_ Jim was. How much that he had to _give_. It was after they had taken the long boat out that he realized that there was truly something _special_ about Jim. The way he handled the machinery as if it was an extension of his own body. The fierceness that would sharpen his face as he rode a hard wave or managed a daring maneuver.

That had been when his feelings for the boy had begun to thaw. They had changed completely when he stopped thinking of Jim as a boy and more like the young man he was. Jim admired Mr. Arrow…almost as much as he had resented him. That much was apparent. But then when Mr. Arrow was lost…he realized by the look on Jim's face that his feelings might have been deeper than that.

After all he was young…with a young man's body trapped on a ship with a limited amount of people. Even though their captain was female it was hard to think of her as anything other than a captain. Mr. Arrow however…he would have been a safe target to pine over without the risk of getting caught or involved.

That's what had made Silver's feelings change. He had felt protective about Jim and now it… deepened and it became almost possessive. That's when he had been unable to resist when that small trembling form leaned against him for support. Curse them all to hell for calling him soft but he was only mortal.

Everything between them had changed. There was a new energy there that hadn't existed before. It made small chores exciting and the moments that they had alone charged with energy. It was an exciting time where they could do no wrong.

He had known the moment that time had come to an end. The look on Jim's face said it all. It was as hostile as it was when he first arrived on the ship and had, rather clumsily, began interrogating him. Jim had heard him. And it wasn't a safe time for him to say that he hadn't meant a word of it and that what they had between them was real. It was too late and Jim attacked him and ran to the captain. His boy had forced his hand and he called the mutiny early.

His emotions for James were put to the test when he had him in his sights and his hand on the trigger. Jim was running away from him, with his map, the key to everything he had spent his entire life looking for. But despite all of that…he hadn't been able to pull the trigger. He loved Jim. He loved him more than the treasure.

AFTER

Now Jim was once again standing between him and his treasure, but this time it wasn't just them. It was in front of the crew and if he couldn't have Jim… then he would at least have the treasure. But only those little fingers could unlock the map and Jim was looking at him with those fierce eyes. He sighed inwardly and found himself wishing it was just them on this old rotten heap of planet. Everything would be different if it was…but it wasn't.

They followed the ghostly green line to the edge of what seemed like the planet. Once again Jim proved how smart he was and Silver had felt pride as Jim had unlocked the secret and opened the door to everything he had been hunting for.

Then his whole world started falling apart. Literally. Of course the old Captain had booby trapped the place if he had his head on straight he would have realized that. But then there was Jim, readying that little ancient craft because he was brilliant even if he didn't realize it himself.

For one moment…He thought he would have to hurt Jim. The boy still didn't know how to pick his fights. James shouldn't be fighting with him…Stubborn lad should have come with him when he gave him the chance. They could have been _partners_…They could have been _great_. But then before he had been forced to make that choice the craft was hit and he watched almost in slow motion as that small form when flying out. Jim was so small…When had he forgotten that? He wanted to grab him he did…but then he remembered the treasure and thought he could get both. But then as the beam ate away that the boat he realized he would have to make a choice. Jim's life was hanging by those dainty talented fingers and every second that life was fading away. What other choice could he have made? He dove across and grasped that little hand firmly. That's when he knew it. That's when he was sure. He would make do without the treasure. But he couldn't make do without Jim. He had to know that Jim was alive.

After all he had done his only chance to escape the gallows would be to leave if they made it off this planet alive. But it would be enough to know that Jim had a future somewhere, that he would be great somewhere. That he would make his mother proud and have the big life that he deserved.

He had known when they had made that makeshift craft and Jim had looked at him for reassurance, he had known then that the only way to let Jim become as great as he could be…was to let him go. So that's what he had done.

He let him go.

Thanks you all so much! Like I said just a little demented bunny that I had been thinking about for awhile and then got inspired to write Thanks for reading! Prince of the Prides was my Christmas gift so this is my New Years gift!


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